In Memory of Jamie Bernard
Jamie Bernard was a kind, creative, and brave young man who lived his entire life with generous humor and quiet courage until the day he passed from us. He was a beautiful human being, and that beauty will live on in the memories of those he left behind and in the many writings and drawings which amount, after only twenty-two years, to an admirable life’s work. He is greatly missed by his family, friends, educators, and everyone who knew him and thus admired and cared for him.
There are no words for this loss. I did not have the privilege of knowing Jamie, but know how loved and supported he was by his family. To lose someone who had the grace of understanding the gift of giving unselfishly of oneself, as well as the gift of writing is an immeasurable loss. My wish for you, his family, is expressed by one of my favorite poets, Kahlil Gibran – Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
May Jamie’s light continue to shine in your hearts and warm you with fond remembrance. Sending love to you all.
Theresa
To Jamie’s Family, relatives, friends and close associates,
If it is one thing that can be said about Jamie is that he was probably the funniest person I know. Any time I was with him he could usually pull something out that would have me rolling over for days. Maybe it was that look he always bore that made him look like some kind of cowboy that had just gone five rounds fighting a bull. Any time I saw that green sweatshirt of his from a distance I knew I had to come up to him and tell him about some dumb shenanigans I had been up to. No matter where he was he always had that green Sweatshirt and rarely can I ever recall him not wearing it. On some nights (or very, very early mornings) Jamie, some of the folks from Williams and myself would hop down to the diner in Kingston for some late night food. Driving over the Kingston bridge, with its lights all lit up, Jamie bobbing along to some song I remember thinking ‘this is what college is like.’
In freshman year we lived next door to each other and for many a night I could hear him saying something loud and exuberant to Carrie, possibly quoting Hunter S. Thompson or just generally yelling about Nixon. I was especially glad to have him as both a friend and a colleague in the pursuit of Eastern European studies, although his study of Russian language was quite superior to mine. Still I adored the fact that we both held a great interest in Russian and Soviet history and a similar feeling towards “Those Goddamn Communists!”
We shared a similar taste in the arts and when I asked him about the Soviet literature course he had nothing but excellent things to say about the books and professor Brent as well as the entire Russian department, who all knew him very well. When he began exploring Pynchon’s Gravity’s Raindow I had nothing but sheer admiration for even his ability to start the book, let alone try to finish it. Whenever I watch HBO’s Deadwood I can’t help but here Jamie say about one of the characters, “He was so much more badass in the first season.” We would often have these kinds of exchanges after a moving screening or similar affair.
I fear my words cannot express the proper condolences so I will attempt to let this letter do that for me. Perhaps the hardest part of this is trying to convey it in words. Although it is difficult for me to write this down I am glad to have known him for as long as I did as a friend.
-Sincerely, Josh Sorell, class of 2010
My deepest condolences for the loss of Jamie. Our hearts go out to the Bernard family in this tough time. We are sending you thoughts and prayers.
Wishing you all strength, peace and grace. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.
I am sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to your family. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
I had the distinct pleasure of spending eight weeks with Jamie in Russia this summer. I remember that I was initially drawn to him because of the massive volume of books he had brought with him in the airport. In fact, the very first thing that struck me about Jamie was his vast knowledge of literature. I have met very few people who are as well read as Jamie. In fact, every time I saw him at any point throughout the rest of the 8 weeks, he was never without a book in his hands.
Jamie and I had many good talks about literature (and other things) throughout the rest of our time together and I came to value and cherish his unique viewpoint on anything and everything. Jamie truly saw things through a different lens and he always struck me as somebody who was invaluable because of that. I don’t think that I have ever met anybody who saw things the way that Jamie did, and I don’t think that I ever will.
My condolences and prayers to Sallie, Tom, Fred and Bill. May Jamie rest in peace knowing he’s touched many, many lives.
Sallie,
Holding you and your family in my heart and praying for peace and Grace to get you through…
Ann Brasher
Dear Sallie, Tom, Fred and Billy,
We are shaken by the news of Jamie’s death. We know that he was a talented writer and followed in your footsteps with his sharp intellect, light-hearted personality and generosity of spirit. Our hearts are breaking for you and can only imagine the pain and hurt you must be feeling right now.
The world should never have to lose a promising young life and most certainly not a life with such a brilliant beam of light as Jamie’s. Those denied knowing him in this life were robbed of experiencing his insightful mind, creative writings and infectious smile. We hope all of your family will find solace in the cherished memories you’ve had with Jamie over the years and that your hearts will be able to find happiness again.
Scott and Laura Bono
I have this past week been thinking about Jamie and how lucky I always felt to see him with his brother Billy. It would almost make me envious that my son did not have brothers like Jamie and Fred to nurture him. But there was no doubt in my mind that Jamie understood Billy and that his love for Bill came out in the form of respect. Even when they were young in NJ bouncing on the trampoline I could feel that Jamie accepted his brother unconditionally without seeing a disability.
Through the years at camp I have watch as Jamie interacted with his brother and was so proud of the way he cared for him. This is a tribute to Tom Sally & Fred.
While my heart is broken never will I lose the memory of a brother’s love that Jamie had and for that Jamie has blessed me!
I am so sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.
When I first heard the news I was dumbfounded. Never did I think that something like this would happen.
I know I was never a close friend, but I am heartbroken to know he has passed from us.
I wish you all the best during this hardship.
Tom, Sallie, Fred, and Billy,
I can’t imagine the devistation and loss you are feeling. We truly loved Jamie like he was part of our family. We have so many fond memories of when your boys would sleep over here, or go to sporting events with us. My guys loved going to your house and felt right at home there, again like they were part of your family. Jamie will always remain in our thoughts and prayers, as will you all. He had such a sharp wit, and he was a very talented artist. Eventhough Davey never was in his class, he always felt that Jamie was his best friend growing up, and wants you to know that he loved Jamie and his heart goes out to your family.
I had the privilege of knowing Jamie from my experience studying in Saint-Petersburg last summer. I was so impressed by his air of calm reflection, and he helped to rekindle in me a love of literature. I remember distinctly a wonderful conversation we had over dinner in a café somewhere near Nevsky Prospekt about life and writing and growing up, and Jamie always exuded such humble maturity that I felt very much at ease with him. He was never involved in any disagreements or harsh feelings with anyone. A true independent spirit, Jamie was an inspiration to me and a singularly wonderful person. I will always be grateful for having known him.
Tom- I was stunned to hear the sad news. Even though you and I have not seen each other or communicated in a long while there are certain bonds that can’t be broken. Please know that I extend my deepest sympathies.
Tom, Sallie, Fred and Bill
My heart goes out to your family. I only had the privilege of meeting Jamie back in 2003 when Tamala and I stayed at your home. It was very easy to see what a wonderful man he was. My prayers are with you all in this very tough time.
Dear Tom, Sallie, Fred and Bill,
The Buzbee family would like to send out deepest sympathy to your family. My heart breaks as I think of your loss. I will always remember with fondess the memories shared at the soccer field in Aspen. Strength to all of you. The Buzbee’s
Dearest Tom, Sallie, Freddie and Mr. B,
I can’t even begin to tell you how devastated I am… as you know the guys are all VERY special to me. Having been a part of their lives since the age 1 yr. and 4 months, I’ve always felt a sort a maternal connection and though I am NOT a parent – the pain I feel for this loss feels as though I am. As much as I’m hurting I can’t even imagine your pain. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Having watched the guys grow up from babies I had the pleasure to see their personalities form- I always got a kick out of the interaction they had with each other : Jamie would do something to tick Bill off and Bill was not one to be ‘wronged’ so he would go after you- Jamie, knowing this, would always disappear from the scene leaving an unsuspecting Fred to experience Bill’s wrath.
Jamie- you’ll be missed. Love you much.
Tammy
Dear Sallie, Tom, Fred and Billy,
My family and I wish you all inner peace and love, and understanding and patience in this most devastating time. Jamie is a jewel who lives forever. Our feelings are best explained by Mary Elizabeth Frye:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
Our hearts overflow with thoughts of kindness and healing for you, the Lombardo’s
Sallie, I was so saddened to hear about the passing of your son. My deepest sympathies and prayers are with you and your family.
Sallie, Cassie and I are so sad to read the news about Jamie. It’s hard to believe that he was just 22. I just remember the three boys living on Essex St. My deepest sympathy for you, Tom, Fred and Billy. I often think about you.
All the interactions I had with Jamie were short but pleasant. He seemed to be a very gentle soul, and a warm heart. It was in the way he talked about his friends that particularly demonstrated this for me.
Rest in peace, Jamie.
Fran and I can’t stop thinking about what a significant loss your family and all those who knew jamie have just suffered. We have always felt so close to your whole family, because of our similar circumstances. We are saddened beyond words at this senseless tragedy. We promise to never forget Jamie and all his accomplishments and all the promise that he carried. Love Fran and Doug
The faculty and staff of Smolny College in St. Petersburg Russia would like to express our sympathy and condolences to Jamie’s family on this tragic loss. Jamie studied with us during our intensive Russian language program last summer. His love of literature was plain to all. We are very glad that we had the opportunity to get to know him and deeply saddened to know of his passing. During his time here he demonstrated so clearly all of the goals and qualities that it takes to open oneself up to another culture, and to make the very most of study abroad and the opportunity of world travel. He will be missed.
Tommy and family,
Please accept my deep condolences for the passing of your son. You and your family are in my prayers.
Sincerely,
sd
I am stunned and saddened more than words allow. Jamie will always be remembered with joy and your family will be in our prayers.
Dear Sallie, Tom, Fred and Bill,
You are in our thoughts and prayers and we also grieve the loss of your beloved son and brother, Jamie.
With love and deepest sympathy,
Vicky, Dave and Sam Debold
Dear Sallie, Tom, Fred and Billy,
There are no words sufficient to this task. Nothing I can say will ease a pain so fresh and so overwhelming. I have been thinking of you constantly and I so wish that I could bring Jamie back for all of you.
I can only say that there are many, many of us who know how much you loved Jamie and we will make sure he is not forgotten.
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“As you comprehend this profound loss, let yourself cry knowing each tear is a note of love rising to the heavens.” Our deepest sympathy and prayers for your family.
Sallie & Family:
We are so very sorry to hear about your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Jean, Earl, Austin, Nick & Toniann Clyburn
Dear Sallie, Tom, Fred, and Billy,
I am deeply saddened by your family’s loss of your beloved Jamie. The passing of such a generous and kind person is an immeasurable loss to us all.
I hope that you can find solace and comfort in your cherished memories of Jamie and in the beneficial impact he made on so many lives.
Dear Sallie and family:
Please know my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
Janie
We are very sorry about your loss. Our prayers and thoughts are with you all.
Maury and Janice Greenberg
Dear Tom, Sallie, Fred and Billy, On this day when Jamie is being laid to rest, we are across the Atlantic in Sarajevo. It’s about 4400 miles from here to Annandale-on-Hudson, New York, but despite the distance and ocean between us we can feel the heartache like it was right here. We are searching for consoling words but cannot do justice to this immense sudden loss. We admire Jamie’s service to youth with autism, his desire to explore the world, his creativity. We will not forget! May peace be with him always…
To the Bernard Family,
I just wanted to say how sorry I am about the loss of your son. I lost a child five years ago and know that there are no words to express the feelings you are dealing with. I did not know Jamie but from what I have seen he was a very talented young man. I had the great honor of getting to know your son Bill a few weeks back and blessed to have had that opportunity. I wish I had that same opportunity to meet Jamie. My thoughts will be with you and your family.
Rachel Robinson
Sallie
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I just got the news from Geoff Dubrowsky. You have done so much for autism and although I never met Jamie I am sure he was an incredible young man. I have met Billy and my daughter Kathy is now eighteen. I remember seeing you and Billy in the New York Sports Authority on Route 22 and we spoke at the NYFAC dinner years ago. I hope this tragic event does not keep you from continuing your mission with SafeMinds and other autism causes. You are truly a heroine in the world of autism.
Bob, Mary, Maureen and Kathleen Howley
I know I speak for everyone who was lucky enough to play alongside Jamie on the soccer field and spend time with him in high school when I say that he was always a positive presence and a great guy. His writing was humbling to all of us in Popinchalk or Nancy Roach’s class, his composure and poise admirable.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss and wish you nothing but the best.
DJ Furth
Jamie,
You were and are so very loved by many. I hope you are looking on us and smiling about this beautiful legacy you have left. I always enjoyed my time with you and your brothers in Aspen and with your parents as well. Thanks for the laughs and fun memories – you were an inspiration to me and so many others in your thoughts, ideas, and support for those who needed it.
I hope you are at peace, wherever you are, with that poor old green jacket you never took off.
I miss you.
To Sallie, Tom, Brother Fred and Billy: you are in my thoughts and prayers and I look forward to seeing you again.
Love,
Brett
Sallie & Tom
You are in Colleen and my thoughts and prayers. We were so saddened to hear this news.
Our deepest condolences.
Chuck & Colleen Saftler
Jamie,
I’m so lucky to have had the opprotunity to get so close to you and your amazing family. When I lived above you, you all took me in as if I was blood and I felt like I adopted a second home. I never took the chance to get to know you in school but am so grateful for the person I did get to know over the summers at camp and living above you all.
You are so brilliant, creative, and unique. You have every ounce of confidence in who you truely are that I wish I had only a speck of.. You were never afraid to be who you were and you never apologized for it either! You made me laugh, you made me stand in awe of your extreme talents, and you taught me so much about how to hold on to who you really are.
As I embark on motherhood for the first time and prepare to meet my new son any day, I will be thinking of what a beautiful, selfless life you led and can only hope my son is lucky enough to reflect some of your incredible traits.
You have made such a big mark on my life without even knowing im sure. I miss you greatly and see you everywhere I go. Thank you for touching my life.
Tom, Sallie, Fred and sweet Bill- You’re family is one of the most wonderful in the world. You all encompass charity, love, and family in every sense. Jamie loved you all so dearly and your love for him I’m sure is immeasurable. His memory will live on in all of you and all of the lives he’s touched. Thank you for all you have done for me. I hope I can be there for you the same. Sending my love.
Amanda
Tom
All of us at SkyPower were so deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your son Jamie. Although I never met him Tom, I am certain he was a very talented and gifted son. I know there are no words that can describe such a terrible loss but we wish to pass on our deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family . We wish you find comfort in the memories you cherish. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in your time of sorrow.
Kerry Adler and The SkyPower Team
Dear Bernards:
I wish we could have seen your family so much more growing up – I know that my dad’s job didn’t permit much America time, but Colorado was frequently near the top of the list for our home leaves because of the Bernards (even though most of our relatives live in New York and Ohio). But whenever I did see you guys, I always was impressed by how tight-knit and loving a family you were. Tom and Sallie are clearly such great and dedicated parents – you can appreciate this the minute you meet them. I am so glad I got to meet a grown-up Bill and Fred, but wish I had gotten to see adult Jamie, too. As an English major, I would like to have hung out with Jamie based on that Favorite Books list alone.. He clearly had INCREDIBLE taste, especially for such a young man. He was so lucky to have had parents like Tom and Sallie, brothers like Fred and Bill, and the world was lucky to have such a creative, intelligent and talented son.. I am really looking forward to seeing more of his work from the Foundation as the days pass. Even though I am in Thailand, I am thinking of you all. My thoughts and prayers to Tom, Sallie, Fred, Bill and Jamie.
So much love from Bangkok,
Alicia
Dear Sallie, Tom, Bill and Fred,
Words can hardly express the sadness we feel about the loss of Jamie. Although his life was far shorter than it should have been, he made his mark and touched so many lives. Our memory of him will be the impact he made on the many kids and their families at Extreme Sports Camp. He knew just how to hang and guide our kids with autism. We will also remember Jamie as your beloved son and loving brother. There’s no doubt his legacy will also include the friendships he formed and the writings he shared. It hurts to think of him as gone but we take comfort knowing that his presence is still with us. Jamie has impacted all of us, teaching us to love unconditionally and enjoy the moment. May you find the peace that will come, knowing that he is safe, calm and surrounded by a loving God that will protect him.
Fondly yours,
Peter, Liz, Tyler, Derek and Avery
Dear Bernard Family,
We have no words to express our sadness at the loss of Jamie from your beautiful family and for all who came to know him. May God give you all strength and may you be comforted by knowing that Jamie was loved and admired by many people in his short life. He has left an incredible legacy behind. We admired his independent spirit, his kindness and love for his brothers, his strength, his humor, his brilliant mind and his humbling presence.
We send you all our deepest condolences. Our thought are with you every day.
Andrea and Bob Ames
I am sad to hear about your son passing away. I think it’s tragic when a young soul leaves the earth. I felt terrible pain although I do not know you. i wish G-d could see our thoughts and help us before it’s too late. One loss was just as great as losing many in a disaster. Help us to be brave and have the courage to move on and believe we will find out the cause for untimely deaths and that we will be able to correct, heal and sustain life and enjoy our lives and children.
Lovingly
Rose (a parent of a Bard student)
My daughter is on her 2nd year at Bard and she did not know Jamie.
When she called me and whispered what had happened my first thoughts were of Jamie’s parents and for days after I could not get this family out of my heart.
I have just looked at the photos posted and I am so happy to see the love and happiness you all shared with him; he will always be a beautiful boy.
I send prayers to the Universe for your hearts to mend and for his spirit to be at peace and always with his family.
We did not have the privilege of knowing Jamie but just looking at his beautiful face, we feel inspired that such a short life should have spread such a brilliant light. Our deepest condolences. Teresa, Steven and Andrew.
We are deeply sorry for your loss. Our son, Eric had the pleasure of playing soccer with Jamie at Aspen High. We are thinking of you all and hope that the love and friendship of those close to you eases the pain of his passing & memories of your loving family be held close. Eric and the Sciarrone family
My daughter who also will be a graduate of Bard in 2010 called to let me know when she heard of the loss of Jamie. I am so sorry for your loss! Your family has been on my mind. Even though I don’t know you personally I feel heart broken and feel your pain. I too lost a son his name was James after his father but we called him “Jamie” he was 4yrs and 8 months, He had cancer. He was a beautiful boy and had a beautiful spirit. Although he has been gone since 1971 I still miss him teribly. I thank Heavenly Father for the time we did have with him, before he took him back home. I know your will always be in your hearts and in the hearts of all who knew and loved him. May the Good Lord Bless and watch over you. And in some way ease your sorrow. EVY,from WV
I have a junior son at Bard. I opened the news about your son and brust into tears and sobbed. Not a days goes by that I do not think of the pain that you his family must be going through. Our prays and thoughts are with you. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Jeff Joyal’s mom
My heart breaks and aches for your family and I know your loss is unfathomable. Please know that you’re in the thoughts and prayers of many whom you have never met, just by virtue of being a part of the Bard community.
Blessings to you all – Nicole Foos, mother of Sydney Foos, class of 2012
Tom, Nancy and I were deeply saddedned to hear of Jamie’s passing and we extend to you and your family our deepest condolences. Although we did not know him, it was like a kick in the stomach. Just as you and I have so many fond memories from our times spent together, we hope that you can focus on your wonderful memories of times spent with Jamie. Our warmest wishes, Gary and Nancy Goodenough
As many Bard parents, I was heartsick to hear about this tragedy. Words cannot adequately express how often I’ve thought of this talented & handsome young man and his family’s anguish. Please know that you are indeed in the prayers of many.
Julie Collins, mother of Alex Roberts, class of 2010
Dear Bernard Family,
I didn’t know Jamie, but you’ve done a beautiful job of celebrating his life through this web site. His wonderful spirit eminates from the photos.
I can’t imagine how much you miss him and my heart aches thinking about it for you. I pray for your collective strength and grace during such a difficult time.
Janesse
Dear Bernard Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this ver sad time. May all the wonderful, happy memories of Jamie bring you some peace during this very difficult time. I think of Billy every now and then and wonder how he and your family are doing. Many prayers are coming from your old friends at the DLC…
May God give you strength and peace.
Barbara
Jamie,
You’re in my thoughts every day. Seeing your resting place brought me no happiness, but it reminded me that you’ve finally found peace. Beloved friend, the kindest of men, I miss you.
Julian
Dear Bernard family,
I and all those who knew and contacted with Jamie while he was having his Summer Language Intensive 2009 in Russia, St. Petersburg, – we all can not express how deeply we were hurt by this tragedy.I was one of the Russian tutors during that Summer Intensi. Jamie showed himself a sweet person and a good talented student. We all – teachers, assistants, tutors, – have him in our hearts and memories.
God bless your family and give you strength to calm down your pain.
I miss you, Jamie, and I can not help crying remembering you.
Alyona.
Dear Sallie,
Our brief encounter with your boys was such a great experience. Jamie was my son Daniel’s buddy at Extreme Sports and they just had one of the best times in their lives. The way they cared and gave their summer time to be part of this was truly unforgettable. Our hearts are sad at knowing about his passing. We hope you are doing ok and getting strength from the angel looking out for you.
Peter, Claudia, Daniel and Chris